This. Changes. Everything.

this.changes.everything.notypeThis. Changes. Nothing. Seriously, it doesn’t.


This man decided to make a sandwich, but you WON’T BELIEVE what happened next. My jaw dropped! How is this even possible? An AMAZING life hack you NEED to see! You’ve been doing it wrong your whole life. This. Changes. EVERYTHING.


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Uh, I put the jam on first when I’m making a PB and J. 

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© 2015 by M.P. Witwer • All rights reserved

No Big Deal

It was only online, after all…

“I’m sorry.”

“That’s it, you’re sorry?”

“What more do you want from me? Yes, I screwed up, and I apologized. Can we please just go to bed?”

“You screwed up all right.”

“Oh, c’mon, are you going to blow this all out of proportion? I told you, nothing happened. We exchanged a few e-mails, big deal.”

“E-mails containing naked pictures, so yeah, I’d say it is a big deal.”

“But they didn’t mean anything!”

“So then why’d you send them?”

“Just being stupid, I guess. Listen, I really am sorry. You know I love you.”

“I know. Leave anyway.”

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© 2013 by M.P. Witwer • All rights reserved

All [Bleeped] Up

“That won’t fly.”

“What won’t?” she asked.

“From the third line on,” he replied, reading over her shoulder as she typed. “A story full of obscenities won’t ever win a writing contest.”

Exasperated, she considered how to sanitize her micro-fiction entry, a gritty drama rife with blue language. Then inspiration struck, and she believed her ingenious editing would yield a surefire winner.

“All the profanity’s been bleeped out. What do you think now?”

“Makes it a [bleeped] up piece of [bleep], I’m sorry to say.”

“Oh, what the [bleep] do you know? You’re a [bleeping] accountant!”

~ The [Bleeping] End ~

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© 2013 by M.P. Witwer • All rights reserved